V.M.Ehhhhhhhhhs?

Okay soupcats, listen, I do realise I’m a more, shall we say, mature audience…but this gallery coming your way is not style, it’s MADNESS. This is what my kid is going to look at and think, ‘yeah rocking, must follow in Miley’s footsteps’…like a droid. And I’ll be helpless to stop her, and there will be fights and my dreams of being a cool mom to a teenager will fade like many mothers before me. Drat.

I MEAN….loop-jack-crazy outfits.

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Ah Kim, gas altogether. Trying to look sexy while pregnant, (2nd time) rookie mistake.

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A swimsuit…? A dress..? A superhero costume…?

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No.

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This at first glance looks quite pretty, but that’s just a false sense of security…look at it carefully. Not good. See through mesh, fishnet, floral, appliqué, whaddayacallit. And the shoes. Don’t even.

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Toxic.

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Right. Listen, I need to get employed as a stylist in LA. Immediately.

In amongst the, I can show more of my body in an outrageous dress competition, there emerges one outright winner.

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Miley-Cyrus-MTV-VMAs-2015-Pictures

HER DA WAS THERE.

Stop Miley STOP, my eyes!! I wonder when she’s older and looking back on her time of shine, will she go…’ah yeah I was hitting the high fashion notes there alright.’

There are some saviours in our midst. The first one is a surprise attack, seeing as usually I find her clothes meh…but she is killing it here.

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Yeah, that’s COOL. Especially the shoes. I’d be well pleased with that choice.

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If you can wear a dress like this, do, even to put the bins out, wear it always.

That’s all I could find, TWO. HOT. LOOKS.

There’s a lot riding on the Oscars…

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